Do you think that all the one/two word combinations in english have already been taken by bands/musicians? I can’t seem to think of any other possibility to explain why every band to come out in the last couple years has an unnecessarily long name.
I surmise there are no more original names available under 3 words. Especially when you are trying to set up your sweet new band with a twitter handle/web domain.
I don’t even think some of these will easily fit on a t-shirt.
Some of my favorite (ridiculous) names to date (and i’m not saying i automatically hate all their music) :
“Sarcasm is a free public service i provide to those within earshot. No need to thank me. I also do irony, hyperbole, word-play and puns, one-liners, quick-witted observations and flippant remarks, and abstract and deep philosophical insights on nonsensical themes”—
My office is down the street from the world headquarters/flagship store/pretention mecca that is Whole Foods. For years, I have been wary of frequenting this establishment. Today, after another lunch so bland I almost fell asleep while eating, I have come up with a couple theories as to why it bothers me so much.
Theory 1: Spices as Kryptonite
Theory 2: Spices shortage due to body product/incense overproduction
Theory 1 basically posits that hippies, or new agers, or whatever you want to label the target demographic of Whole Foods, are repelled by spices in their food. They are either allergic, or it is the substance that will destroy them. Therefore, when you eat any of the prepared foods here, although they look delicious and amazing, at first taste you realize they have been seasoned with a generous helping of nada. and maybe a squeeze of lemon if they’re feeling wild. Salt, pepper, heat, tang, and savory flavors might be the thing that renders a hippie unable to perform 6am bikram yoga sessions, or chain themselves to trees for hours on end.
Theory 2 purports that while hippies are not opposed to the use of spice/flavor in their consumables, they have run out of every imaginable herb/spice before they can get to cooking because they have used them all up in their “natural” body products and the incense that seems to be a fixture in the progressive urban hippie lifestyle. These products, such as Tom’s of Maine, Dr. Bonner’s, etc. can only be described as “pungent” at the very least. Therefore, there must be no herbal ingredients left for making food taste like anything.
What are they really doing? Who knows, but they sure as hell aren’t letting the salt and pepper shakers anywhere NEAR the kitchen at Whole Foods.
Inspired by this quote from Amelie: “With a prompter in every cellar window whispering comebacks, shy people would have the last laugh. “
Now, flash forward to 2010. The majority of inter-personal communication these days occurs in various text-based formats (text messaging, email, instant messager, fb posts, twitter DM, etc). You tweet your friends. You GChat your boss. You Facebook chat/BBM with your parents. You text that attractive lady you met at that bar that one time somewhere.
Sometimes, as a normal person who has gotten caught up in the world of “lolz” and “smh”-type shorthand, you might need a little help with your conversational skills.
I want to create a text messaging service that will provide anyone with an on-demand witty, poignant, funny, attention-grabbing, etc response to anything. Simply text us the question/phrase you need to respond to, and for a small fee you will receive a real-time customized remark.
The possibilities are endless:
*Impress your friends!
*Win the affection and admiration of your current love/lust interest!
*Make your boss think you’ve got it all together!
*Seem like an all-around great person to know. Because everybody likes the funny chick (or guy).
Have something interesting to bridge those awkward silences between sexting pictures to your “special friend”
And most importantly, because no woman really gets swept off of her feet with:
There’s a secret terror lurking around every corner. Every winter, it only gets worse. Once familiar doorknobs, refrigerators, faucets, and light switches become objects of fear.
Electro-static shock. The shock you get when touching metal objects. While for most people, this is a rare, minutely irritating occurrence, a select few seem to attract electrostatic charges by the dozens. Daily activities seem like shock therapy. No door is safe. Meetings are postponed due to minutes of staring at doorknobs in fearful anticipation.
Tens, possibly hundreds, of Americans suffer from this heightened “magnetism”
Don’t be a victim this winter. Show the doorknob who’s boss. Moisturize.