danarchist asked: Why did you show up in my dream, steal me from my girlfriend during an idyllic swing set session, and then laugh at her?
for those of you who don’t know what a platitude is, it’s a platypus...
Do you think that all the one/two word combinations in english have already been taken by bands/musicians? I can’t seem to think of any other possibility to explain why every band to come out in the last couple years has an unnecessarily long name. I surmise there are no more original names available under 3 words. Especially when you are trying to set up your sweet new band with a twitter...
Sarcasm is a free public service i provide to those within earshot. No need to...
My office is down the street from the world headquarters/flagship store/pretention mecca that is Whole Foods. For years, I have been wary of frequenting this establishment. Today, after another lunch so bland I almost fell asleep while eating, I have come up with a couple theories as to why it bothers me so much. Theory 1: Spices as Kryptonite Theory 2: Spices shortage due to body...
A sore throat means cancer until the doctor says ‘don’t be so...– Ricky Gervais
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the...– the sultan of satire, Mark Twain
Every time I’m sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead– Barney Stinson
Hey, you're, like, interesting and stuff...
Inspired by this quote from Amelie: “With a prompter in every cellar window whispering comebacks, shy people would have the last laugh. “ Now, flash forward to 2010. The majority of inter-personal communication these days occurs in various text-based formats (text messaging, email, instant messager, fb posts, twitter DM, etc). You tweet your friends. You GChat your boss. You Facebook...
you're not alone
There’s a secret terror lurking around every corner. Every winter, it only gets worse. Once familiar doorknobs, refrigerators, faucets, and light switches become objects of fear. Electro-static shock. The shock you get when touching metal objects. While for most people, this is a rare, minutely irritating occurrence, a select few seem to attract electrostatic charges by the dozens. Daily...
of course you’re insane. you’re bonkers. all the best people are.
i can’t go to a bad movie by myself. what, am i gonna make sarcastic...– Jerry Seinfeld
The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing...– Rumi
it is better to be obscene than not heard
How do you get life insurance? Don’t they know you’re living in the...
Knower of things. Sparkling conversationalist.– Mitra’s new business card?
i live in a world where "mumblecore" is actually a...
i think we’ve taken our obsessive need to categorize and subdivide things/ideas/whathaveyou just a little too far. and if you are a person who has ever used the word “cassavetes-esque” or some related derivation, we can no longer be friends.